I was a bit taken back by the comment, and not fully prepared to respond. He was obviously trying to bring something to my attention, but I wasn’t certain how to proceed. Was this a cautionary statement, or an invitation or perhaps even a warning? Whatever it was, it certainly gave me something to ponder.
“But Mary treasured all of these things in her heart, and often pondered what they meant”
Luke 2:19 TBT
In retrospect, although I am certain that he had been talking to me for a very long time, our relationship was shifting. The voice I had always thought of as my own, personal ”Jimmy Cricket” like friend, was in actuality the Holy Spirit. I was hearing the voice of God.
My gift of the prophetic was very slowly budding and I had no idea what it meant nor how I was even supposed to respond, so I just kept praying and storing and pondering the things he spoke to me.
His words to me concerning my son were not the first that made me realize it wasn’t my very own thoughts that I was hearing.
Roughly two years earlier, and 350 miles east of where I sit now, I stood in my shower one cold Spring day, and that very same soft, gentle, and somewhat breath like voice told me that cancer would take my mothers life. I recall that I didn't wonder, even for a moment who was speaking to me. I didn’t get overly excited, or emotional, however I did have the presence of mind to ask Him if my moms death could wait until my youngest daughter was released from prison. Because He knew it was important to me, my request was honored. My daughter was released from prison roughly two years later, the Monday the 25th day of April, the day after Easter. My mother, who had never told a soul; that I am aware of, about her cancer, left this world late Friday evening the 20th day of May, less than a month later.
During the months directly following her death, God whispered promises and plans for my future into my heart and soul. I awoke one August morning confident that I was supposed to move back to my home town. Some friends and family thought I had lost my mind, asking me why in the world would I move back home when my mom was no longer even there? God alone held the answer to that question, all I know was that wild horses could not have stopped me, I couldn’t wait to be obedient and put his plans into motion. I began planning immediately! Nothing or no one could have changed my mind or stopped me, I was on a mission! People wonder if they will know when God wants them to make a change. I fully believe that if he is serious about the change, you know.
It took me about two weeks to pack, and get prepared to move. Finding an apartment and renting it sight unseen didn’t even phase me, I was that determined! One of my daughters wanted to come with, and agreed to drive the moving truck, so I drove the car with her dog curled up in the seat next to me. Oddly enough, the radio in the car failed after about two hours of the six hour drive, providing much needed prayer time which was necessary as I headed west into the setting sun.
The morning after I got home, an old friend from high school and a buddy came to my new apartment to help me unpack the moving van. Although we were friends on Facebook, we had never, even as students in the same high school been formally introduced. The two of us, who shared similar thoughts and values, however, we had never, ever been introduced. We hit it off nicely and a few days later he messaged me and asked if I had any coffee brewing. One cup of coffee led to another and our friendship flourished.
Aside from coffee, we frequently chatted on Facebook, which was fun. I found him interesting, kind and funny.
Aside from that, my focus for reasons I would discover soon enough was finding, not a church so much, but a Bible Study, and for some reason, it had to be a Beth Moore Bible Study, nothing else would do. I finally found a Wednesday evening Beth Moore study of the Book of Daniel that I could get into right away. The instructor and I hit it off right away.She was a very kind, older woman, who I came to cherish. She displayed a true warmth with each individual in the study and displayed a great sense of humor and kindness.
Meanwhile, my new landlord and I were not seeing eye to eye in several areas, so I decided to find a different place, or so I thought. I searched and searched and I couldn’t find a thing. (I have since figured out that if God doesn’t want you to find something, you wont,), so during the next Bible Study I gave a brief description of my difficulties. After class ended, the instructor and I decided to indulge in some hot tea before heading home. As we sipped the hot goodness, she told me that she was the owner of a three bedroom house that had some problems which made it difficult for her to rent. Winter was well on its way and she didn’t want to pay for heat on a vacant house. She told me that if I liked it, my family and I could live there until other things opened up in the spring rent free, as long as we paid the utilities. God is so good!!
Eight years later:
It was a cool Fall evening and I had attended my usual Wednesday night Bible Study. As I stood worshipping with my pastor and his huge family, i noticed I was standing a little to close to one of the women and her husband, who had come in late didn’t have a place near his wife to stand. As I reflected on the awkwardness of my situation, the Holy Spirit; in a voice I could hear well over all of the voices singing said to me, “This is not your family”.
I quietly, and very humbly, whispered, “I know”
His immediate response was, “It’s time for you to make your own family.”
When God decides it’s time for a change, he doesn’t mess around. I had been cooking breakfast and lunch at a golf course at the time. The politics, drinking and ethics which were nothing like my own, made it real clear to me that I didn’t belong. The head chef / food and beverage manager ignored my questions and excluded me from conversations which made me very uncomfortable. After a weekend off arrived at work I one morning and spotted a new cook through the kitchen window. I knew immediately that she was my replacement. Later that morning I was in the bathroom silently praying about my situation when the Holy Spirit told me to quit my job. I joked with him that i thought my demise was emanate anyway. The next morning I called the club to resign, my supervisor answered the phone. I told him that i was quitting and he sarcastically responded, “Good! I’m glad you finally figured out that you don’t belong around here.” So just like that, I was jobless.
Now what?
Although i immediately began looking for a different job, I knew God was up to something, so a couple of days latter when he asked me if I trusted him, it didn’t come as a surprise, it typically means things are going to get a little crazy. But when his next instructions to me were for me to stop paying my rent, I knew it was time for a little adventure. When he decides that you’re going to do things his way, there is no other way. Sometimes God doesn’t want us in action mode, and this was definitely one of those times.
My youngest daughter called so I brought her up to speed. She strongly suggested that I go to county and see if I could get help with my rent. In an effort to please her, I made an appointment even though I knew in my heart it was a waste of time. God watched as I nervously waited for others to go into co
their meetings at county and come out with their vouchers. It was no surprise to either of us when I came out empty handed. When I got in my car, I called my daughter and gave her the news, she promised to send money, even though I knew that it wouldn’t save me from eviction, but just to be sure, the Holy Spirit whispered, “No matter what happens, do not spend the $80.00 your daughter is sending. He’s such a know it all.
On the way home, I stopped at McDonalds and pulled some french fry boxes out of dumpster and headed home to finish packing. It took me several trips, but I finally placed most of my stuff in my well used storage. Then I returned to clean and say my goodbyes to neighbors. I had absolutely no idea where I was going next, so after driving around for a while, I headed back to McDonalds for some hot coffee, free internet, and hopefully a word from God.
By 9:30 that night, the early October sky was pitch black and there were snowflakes fluttering in the breeze. I was getting a bit frantic at the idea of sleeping in my overloaded car. I frantically cried out to Jesus! “What are you doing? Please help me.”
His response was immediate, “I’m working on something”
As promised, within about half an hour, my youngest daughter; who had been trying to help me find a place to go, called to let me know that a friend of hers about an hours drive away had a spare bedroom and was looking forward to my company and arrival the next day.
By this time I was dirty and both physically and emotionally shot. My daughter had found a motel room for me, so With hopes of a hot shower and a comfortable bed, I headed that direction . Oddly enough, I had for years been a cash only kind of customer, but a month or so earlier, for some reason, I knew I should apply for and get a credit card. I broke it out, activated it, and paid for my room, hanging on to the cash my daughter had sent as instructed.
The next morning, I returned to my storage for some odds and ends and hit the road. As I traveled west on I-90, the Holy Spirit announced that he had a plan for my son.
I arrived at my destination about lunch time. Katy and I had a wonderful conversation over salsa and chips and took a drive through Spearfish Canyon. Later that evening she told me that the previous evening she had been depressed and was sitting in her house all alone when my daughter called her. I silently recalled how God had told me that he was working on something.
“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose.” Romans 8:28 TPT
Within a few days, Katy revealed that she is prophetic as well. The Holy Spirit told me that when it was time for me to leave, she would know where I was supposed to go. I enjoyed my time staying with her, while she worked, I took advantage of the quite time to enjoy Bible reading and listening to my favorite Bethel artists and speakers.
On a Friday morning six weeks after I had arrived to her home, she called me and said, “Lori, I think I know where the next part of your journey will take you, the Holy Spirit told me that you were suposed to go to church in Rapid City on Sunday morning.” That was initially confusing because I didn’t always attend the same church, but because it was not his intention to be confusing, the Holy Spirit whispered “Destiny” in my ears.
Sunday morning rolled around and once again I packed up my car and headed to my appointment at Destiny, who offers two Sunday morning services, so I hit both of them up. The topic of the service was appropriatly enough, being homeless. At the end of the second service, I was confused and fairly upset because nothing had happened. As I headed to my car I asked the Holy Spirit what I should do next, and he responded, “Go have some lunch!”
I drove around and finally settled on a place where I could read and plug my phone in to charge. I made several phone calls and as the daylight grew dim, I still had no idea where I was going. I made one last call, this time to my son. He told me he had gotten rid of his room mate the week before and that he had room for me at his house. The guy who was living in the basement agreed to come upstairs and let me in and help me with my belongings, so I paid my bill and stepped outside into the cold, dark snowy night. I stopped at Safeway and grabbed some essentials as I was fairly certain the cupboards where I was headed would be sparse and headed to my sons. The neighbor, Josh, was standing in the driveway when I pulled in and he helped me with my stuff.
A new portion of my journey was about to begin.
The owner of the home my son was renting had made an apartment for himself over the garage, the only thing he was lacking was running water, so he had no toilet and no way to wash dishes or clean up. The guy living in the basement was drinking so much cheap vodka that he was either clueless or cared less when the guy barged into his basement apartment to wash his dishes or shower. It didn’t take me long at all to see that the three of them were all drinking way too, much and partying way too hard. They were all co dependant on one another and my son was the only one with a job.
The landlord was a supposed friend, who was at the very most, an aquaintance who was making enough money off of my son that he didn’t need a job himself. I bartended for enough years that I have seen plently of sober bartenders ripping off intoxicated customers and that was exactly the senerio. My son paid a specified amount for rent, and one third of the utilities, although no one ever saw the utility bills but the landlord. When I moved in the utilities were divided immediatly into quarters and my sons rent went up two hundred dollars per month. The landlord wanted all this paid in cash on the first. If it wasn’t paid on time, he tacked on late fees of whatever he desired...and they were paying it! The first time I witnessed the transaction, I thought it was sketchy, but when the landlord showed up a few days and suggested there was still money owed, he could see by my reacvtion that I was on to his game. Thankfully, he took off for about six weeks and was gone for the holidays. When e returned, he evicted the guy in the basement because he didn’t have any rent money for January. The guy dragged his feet, but eventually got packed up and as he was moving out he told me that the landlord was going to ‘hang on’ to his laptop and a couple of other things in lue of the rent money owed, I tried to tell him that the landlord could not do that, it was illigal, but he didn’t want a fight.
With that, he was gone, and his apartment was vacant, so in an effort to save a buck the landlord turned off the basement heat. Within a few days, I could feel the dofference up stairs. I mentioned it to my son and he told me it wasn’t really our problem. I knew it would be soon. Old furnace that had was probllematc already with its pension for blowing thermocuples. By the end of January the weather was calling for negative twenty below chill factors in the upcoming weeks. Friday morning, the 15th of February the furnace rumbled a mighty rumble and gave it up. I called the landlord, he brought space heaters and ordered a new thermocouple. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the problem. The pipe that ran water to the furnace ruptured. The frozen apartment kitchen below filled with water and I quietly went and bought myself a new space heater for my bedroom and settled in. I battled ten dreadful days of a horrible flu bug. I took antibiotics that made me terribly sick to my stomach, i cried and the Holy Spirit told me he would heal me and He did. I was being advised to sue the landlord. My son wasn’t for it. He said his the guy was in a jam and he was certain he would fix it as soon as he could. I wasn’t happy about it, so I went downtown and consulted with the city, who informed me that if i filed a complaint against him, the city would come out within fourtyeight hours and inspect. If what I told them was true, we would be evicted. I consulted with the sherrifs department who advised taking him to court, and the fair housing commission who suggested that I write him a letter explaining the areas he was breaking the law.
I prayed about it and God told me that vengance was his and he told me that he wanted me to have a personal conversation with the landlord. I asked him what he wanted me to say, and he said, “Represent Me” God is so good, he knows we will fail but he asks that we at least give it a try.
I prayed about more and discussed what I would say to the landlord with God. I went back to the sherrifs office and picked up a copy of the South Dakota renters / landlord guidlines, and I wrote the landlord a letter. In the letter I pointed out the areas of the laws he was violating, explained to him that we had been without heat for over a month, and that we were being patient and continued to pay our bills. I folded the letter and pit it in the guidelines handbook and put it aside for the next time he showed up.
On the 15th of March, he knocked on the door, he was looking for my son. We had gotten quite a bit of snow the day before and he was out front shoveling snow. I asked him if we could visit for a few minutes. He sensed that something was up, and asked me what was up. I asked him if he knew what empathy was, and he squirmed a bit before asking me what I thought empathy was. I explained to him that my son had thought of him as a friend and that we and had shown him a great deal of empathy after the furnace broke. We were trying to be patient with him because we understood that his insurance didn’t cover plumbing issues. I told him that I had somethings for him to read and I handed him the letter and the handbook. He took one look at the handbook and said, “I own this, i know the entire thing by heart.” He then knocked it out of my hand and headed outside to tell my son that our portion of the hest was $400, and he needed that plus the rent and other utilities on the first of April. He then told him that we needed to replace the subfloor in our bathroom at our cost as well. When My son walked into the house, i took one look at him and knew he was mad. He had to go to work, and the minute he left, the landlord tore our toilet apart and left, leaving us without heat or a toilet. He also taped a note on the washing machine that advised ME, by name that my laundryroom privliges had been revoked.
I took a picture of the note and sent it to my son. We laughed and decided we needed to make a plan. I had been looking for a place or two for us to move without any luck and then suddenly, out of no where (God is so good) i found an add for a one bedroom apartment a few blocks from my sons workplace. I sent him the phone number and we both called. The person moving out told me that the landlord was very particular and had already shown it to a lot of people. My son called and they agreed to talk to him. He went and looked, and loved it! The owner said it was between my son and a lady with a little girl and he would let him know one way or the other. They called the next day, my son got the apartment. Thats favor. Praise God!
My son found out he could move into his new place the last day of March; which was less than a week away, and I was a stressed out women with a heaping pile of dirty clothes, no toilet and no idea of where I was going. I gave my son a ride to work and looked for apartments, but could find nothing! When i got home there was no place to park because the landlord, who couldn’t afford to fix the furnace, had the driveway filled with his pick up, his Harley and his Corvette. I wasn’t very happy about it, so i went to i went and ran a few errands. When I got back, the landlord walked over to my car and for some strange reason I said to him, “I am moving out on Saturday” He wished me the best of luck and waled away. When I picked up my son later that evening I told him about all the vehicles in the driveway and what I had said to the landlord. He went next door and taled to the neighbor and a plan was formed. I rented a U-Haul for Saturday morning and we started packing. Saturday came and we loaded all of my stuff in the van and took it to storage. Then we went back to the house for my sons stuff. There were only two or three things left to load when the landlord looked out of his window and saw my sons leather sofa.
"Perhaps you were born for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14)
To think about the divine timing of how God placed us HERE on this planet, our specific places and homes and work and schools in 2019. God wants to use us fully in this culture and time period. And He made us for such beautiful and good work. "For you are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good work." Ephesians 2:10
In thinking about being a "Confetti Esther", I want to walk with a brave heart and new joy and that's why I made Confetti Esthers.
I think confetti shows JOY and Delight in such a fun way! And the confetti is a reminder of how God delights in us. And we shine out his hope and confetti joy to the world!
Happy Day to you!
Love,
Tricia
P.S. These Confetti Esther prints are available in my online store- www.triciarobinson.com/store
Talk about culture shock!
My son had a crazy haircut, wore Niki Air Jordans and cruised around town on a skateboard. Needless to say, he stuck out like a sore thumb. The farm kids made fun of him and the cowboys wanted to kick his butt. He lasted about six months before I sent him back to his dad. His dad had already remarried so sadly his vision of picking up with his dad where they had left off never stood s chance. Less than two years later he got back on an airplane in California and flew back to me.
Divorce is never easy for children, which is one of the reasons . God frowns upon it. However, God is also close to the brokenhearted. so he doesn’t want precious children to grow up in a battleground, or with parents who have little or no respect for the sanctity of marriage, much less family.
Children draw their very own; often misguided conclusions about their parent's divorce. Their lack of understanding causes them to place blame and carry misplaced anger and resentment because of it. Without an awakening, it can change the course of their life and affect their relationships with others.
God’s Plan For My Son
I spent six with a friend who had invited me to come visit for a few days. While I was staying in her guest room, God was positioning me to learn what my own son’s conclusions were about his parent's divorce. The friend I was staying with and I shared one basic trait, we are both prophetic. Towards the end of the sixth week of my stay, the Holy Spirit told me where he wanted me to go to church on the upcoming Sunday. He told her as well. So that morning I packed up my little car and headed back to my home town. Church was interesting, as I knew it would be. The message pertained to the homeless.
After church, as I headed to my packed car, I asked God just where I was suppose to go next. He suggested that I go have some lunch and ask for help. I spent the next several hours sitting in a restaurant drinking tea snd phoning friends without any success. It was getting near dark when my phone rang. It was my son. I told him that I was trying to find a place to stay without any luck. I prepared myself emotionally for some attitude, and instead he said, “I just kicked my roommate out, you can come stay at my house if you want.”
I am fairly certain that was an invitation he came to regret on several occasions during the next four months. Together we fought some major battles and slayed a few dragons. It wasn’t easy, but in the end, it was awesome.
My ex husband and I got divorced when he was thirteen, and his sisters were eight and ten. When your kids are that age, there is truly no need to burden them with the true reasons for your breakup, especially when there were extenuating circumstances. Butheir he was, some twenty years later... and it was time to talk. The first few days went fairly well. The Holy Spirit evidently has other plans for me because he told me to go to my storage and fill my sons home with anything he needed. My actions made him nervous enough that he lashed out at me concerning my vagabond lifestyle, which ended up with the big question. ” Why did you divorce my dad and destroy our family?”
The following two hours were full of accusitory statements and angry questions, but after the facts were kindly and lovenly laid down, he cried. ” Mom, why didn’t I know this? It would have. changed so much!” God was doing his marvelous thing, He turned an ugly conversation into a wonderful experience that I will always cherish! Someone very wise once said, ”The truth shall set you free.”
The truth certainly changed the dynamics of our relationship, but there were other areas of his life that were in need of change as well.
